[Not telling him anything he hasn't contemplated at least a little before, Maul.

He has to set aside to ask impulse to ask what Maul knows about neurology and trauma - topics Ezra has only waded into the last year or so, but have been enlightening. A lot of it isn't so different from what his masters taught him, if not using the same words. But sometimes different words are helpful.

This is Maul talking time. Quietly, knowing it's understatement, but could words do it justice?]

That would be a lot to sort through. Beyond what I can personally truly fathom.

[It's a good thing this is voice only, really, because that means Maul can't see Ezra wrestling with trying not burst out laughing at the absurdity of those two sentences.]

Hmmm, one: I'm a chronic worrier. A flaw of mine I should probably work on at some point.

Two: Wanna take a stab at defining 'fine' for me?

[Now, he holds back a sigh.]

Alright.

Maybe consider giving thought to your definition, for your own sake?

No. It's a suggestion based on fairly simply logical, Maul. You talked about things that seemed clear now being harder to discern. I talked about anger clouding everything. You alluded to that being all you knew.

Is more clarity something you seek?

[Ezra responses quickly - and hopes he won't regret that. He's habitually an early riser, and this could get invovled.]

Ok. So, if your definition of 'fine' is simply...whatever you can endure and live through, well. That's your prerogative.

There's a sort of clarity in that taking that position. Stripping it down to the barest of essentials. But does that reveal anything you haven't learned already? I think we both know you can survive pretty much anything other people throw at you. Yes?

Yeah, well, there are so many ways our experiences aren't comparable, but I'm familiar with keeping your head down and enduring.

But it's a narrow sort of clarity. In my experience, very easy for that to become...'this is all there is'.

[No hesitation-]From a certain point of view, sure.

But if that blinds you to everything else...is that the sort of clarity you want, here and now?

[Pause.]

Is seek a better choice of phrase?

I'm not humoring you.

We're talking about you defining your own terms. Semantics is kinda the point.

[Ezra hums in thoughtful agreement.]

Yeah, it can be exhausting at times.

Yes.

I've spent a lot of time, the last few years, now that I'm not in an actual warzone, trying to work out who I can be beyond that.

[Untangling soldier from Jedi, too. He keeps that thought to himself. Not directly on point, and likely to lead done the rabbit hole of ideology.]

Sometimes, but rarely, and a lot of that is missing people.

If I miss war itself...it's a pretty bad day.

I'm lucky enough to have pictures of some of them, with me. First thing that Fox gave back to me, unasked.

I, um. Talk to them sometimes. Imagine what they'd say back. Try to remember the things they taught me, that have helped me. Pass some of those things on.